New dog reporter signed

Ever since Homer the Cherry Hound accepted a permanent position as dog reporter at Didcot Town following their promotion to the British Gas South and West Division, the ranks of the canine match analysts at Charlton have been depleted to two (Hooch the Pootch from Long Itchington, Warks and Monty Martin from Blewbury, Oxon).

Hooch has been engaged in a quest for a new dog reporter, but it has not been easy. Last Saturday he went to meet a dog in Coventry who turned out to be a Sky Blue, was disrepectful to cats and turned on Homer after they had been for a walk together.

However, Hooch is now pleased to announced the signing of Ivy, a young German Shepherd from the Dogs Trust in Honiley. He commented, 'She will need intensive training in the club's history, the rules of the game and player recognition, but she is very willing to learn but I am confident she will succeed as our first girl dog reporter.' He added, 'Unfortunately she has been sharing a kennel with a Blews suppporter who told they are going up and we are going down.'

Hooch remarked that even an experienced canine reporter like himself found player recognition difficult. He did not know what Gibbs looked like and had difficulty in remembering Sorondo's appearance (and it almost seems like one).

Hooch's match analysis and player ratings against the Massives will appear in The Observer on Sunday.