Double promotion for Monty

A relaxed Hooch the Pooch looks forward to the new season

Dog reporter Monty Martin has received a double promotion. He has done so well in his day job as meeter 'n' greeter at Didocot's Kingdom Signs that he is to be used in the firm's yellow pages advert. And senior match analyst Hooch the Pooch has announced that he will be upgraded to cover league as well as cup matches this season. Hooch commented, 'Many people claimed that spaniels were too excitable for this line of work, but he has really applied himself and his knowledge of the offside rule has come on by leaps and bounds.'


Popular Monty Martin from Blewbury, Oxon

It is less good news for Homer the Cherry Hound. Hooch confirmed that the Association of Canine Match Analysts has completed its investigation into an incident that occurred while Homer was staying in Leamington for mutual improvement classes with Hooch. While on a training walk, Homer attacked another dog, claiming that he was a Sky Blue supporter. Hooch commented, 'We expect the highest standards of our analysts both at and away from games.'

Hooch confirmed that talks were continuing with a major broadsheet newspaper about using dog reporters to cover Charlton games. 'Even though our founder, Bob the Dog, was quoted in the Independent on Sunday in relation to a controversial Silver Bone award, regular coverage of this kind would take canine reporting to the next level', said Hooch. 'However, we have hit a hitch. They want dog reporters at the West Ham game tomorrow and so far we have had problems getting access to away grounds.'