Where's your grass gone?

Spring has arrived at last in the Midlands

I had a shock when I arrived at Lye Meadow, the home of former Southern League club Alvechurch this evening. Set among the rolling hills of Worcestershire, what stretched out in front of me was a ploughed field and certainly the worst pitch I have seen since Charlton played at Dagenham and Redridge. An early theme for the travelling Brakesmen was 'You fat cows. Who ate all your grass?'

The travelling choir were in good form, chanting 'Go and watch Coventry? You're having a laugh. We're watching Leamington FC'. When they found out that one of th Church players was called Timmy, he came in for some sustained barracking. However, as is the case with hardcore away fans, their language became a little fruity, leading an elderly lady in front of us to turn round and shout 'I am reporting you to the committee'.

Meanwhile the Brakes struggled to find a blade of grass to play on, but went ahead with a superb strike from 30 yards out. However, Church equalised with a goal from a corner and although Brakes hit the post the score remained 1-1 at the break when we took advantage of the burger bar.

As the second half wore on, a weakened Brakes side, with many players playing out of position, slowly started to assert their superiority while Church were reduced to ten men because of a shortage of subs. Brakes went ahead and then Josh Blake came
on to score a third, while a final goal made it 4-1 to the Warwickshire side. By this time we had gone to the clubhouse to collect the raffle prize which Maggie had won, making it a splendid evening.