Big Merv lands doorman's job

Mervyn Day has found his niche in life at last. According to press reports, 'Alan Cutbishley has finally got tough with his West Ham flops and even banned them from playing cards. [The West Ham 'pot' was said to be the biggest in the Prem last season]. Curbs also told his assistant Mervyn Day to stand at the gates of the
training ground and clock which players turn up late. The manager's watchdog will be noting names then reporting to Curbs, who plans to hit them hard with his new code of conduct.'

You can't make an omlette without breaking an egg.