Club to jet in Manx fans
Fellow Charlton blogster Inspector Sands has been at the forefront of breaking news about the club's exciting Target 40,000 transport plans. He scooped news of the parting of the Channel waters through the club's new coach service from French ports. A recent story on his blog highlights the Flask Express that will bring in Saga louts from obscure Kent seaside resorts (although he failed to mention the feeder service on the Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch which will be a great boon to Dungeness fans).
However, the good Inspector has been so mesmerised by the Oxford Street Christmas lights that he can see from his luxury minimalist Charlton Village apartment that he has missed the biggest scoop of them all: the club's plans to jet in supporters from the Isle of Man.
Insular marketing coordinator Abby Wood (also working on plans for fans in the Scilly Ieles) stated: 'We have discovered a gap in the market for Premiership football in the Isle of Man. Admittedly, some fans have gone over on the ferry to Liverpool. But it is a long journey that can encounter rough weather which can spoil subsequent enjoyment of the match. There is a lot of interest in football on the island which is evidenced by the annual football tournament which regularly attracts top flight League One sides like Port Fail and was won last summer by Rushden and Diamonds.'
Fans will fly in less than a hour from Douglas to City Airport. 'It's here that the problems start', admitted ground transport coordinator Slade Green. 'The Blackwall Tunnel can be a problem on match days. But we have built in a Woolwich Ferry option for those fans who want to recapture the spirit of the crossing to Liverpool.'
Once they arrive at the ground, fans will encounter a real Manx atmosphere. The Trie Cassyn the famous three legged symbol of the Irish Sea island will be on display. Models of the Laxey Wheel in club colours will be on sale in the club shop. The Premiership anthem at the start of the match will be replaced by the Manx anthem O Halloo nyn Ghooie a move that will please many fans. And Floyd will be re-styled as a Manx cat. 'This will not involve any great expense to the club' explained purchasing manager Petra Wood 'as all we have to do is cut off his tail.'
Fans can fly back to the island after the match or stay on for a special weekend package at the Swallow Hotel, Bexleyheath (a budget version is available in rooms above the Antigallican). There will be dancing to Dave Lockwood's disco and negotiations are in progress for live music provided by local band Headstrong. Well-known Welling councillors may drop in to provide the occasion with a touch of civic dignity.
This is only the start of exciting plans to bring in new fans from far and wide. The recent installation of methane breathing appartus along the East and West Stand touchlines to help linos to understand the offside rule opens up new possibilities of accommodating fans from Mars. However outer space marketing manager Avrill Hill admitted that there were some problems: 'Fans will have to start out before we know the fixture list for the relevant season, so although they may hope to see a top side they may have to settle for Birmingham City.'
Slade Green dismissed suggestions that the club might provide a shuttle service for fans who use the Jubilee Line at North Greenwich on match days and have difficulties with the inadequate bus service, particularly at evening games when the buses are full of yuppies making the short trip to the Millennium Village. 'We have looked into this and have found that no more than several hundred fans use this route. Moreover, The Valley is no more than a forty minute walk from the station through an innovative urban landscape.'
Happy New Year to all readers of this blog and here's hoping for continued success on and off the pitch. I'm off to a party hosted by the local St.Mirren tonight, but I will be at The Valley tomorrow. As far as the Palace fans who have been having a go at me on one of their notice boards are concerned, we'll see who the clowns are at the end of the season.
However, the good Inspector has been so mesmerised by the Oxford Street Christmas lights that he can see from his luxury minimalist Charlton Village apartment that he has missed the biggest scoop of them all: the club's plans to jet in supporters from the Isle of Man.
Insular marketing coordinator Abby Wood (also working on plans for fans in the Scilly Ieles) stated: 'We have discovered a gap in the market for Premiership football in the Isle of Man. Admittedly, some fans have gone over on the ferry to Liverpool. But it is a long journey that can encounter rough weather which can spoil subsequent enjoyment of the match. There is a lot of interest in football on the island which is evidenced by the annual football tournament which regularly attracts top flight League One sides like Port Fail and was won last summer by Rushden and Diamonds.'
Fans will fly in less than a hour from Douglas to City Airport. 'It's here that the problems start', admitted ground transport coordinator Slade Green. 'The Blackwall Tunnel can be a problem on match days. But we have built in a Woolwich Ferry option for those fans who want to recapture the spirit of the crossing to Liverpool.'
Once they arrive at the ground, fans will encounter a real Manx atmosphere. The Trie Cassyn the famous three legged symbol of the Irish Sea island will be on display. Models of the Laxey Wheel in club colours will be on sale in the club shop. The Premiership anthem at the start of the match will be replaced by the Manx anthem O Halloo nyn Ghooie a move that will please many fans. And Floyd will be re-styled as a Manx cat. 'This will not involve any great expense to the club' explained purchasing manager Petra Wood 'as all we have to do is cut off his tail.'
Fans can fly back to the island after the match or stay on for a special weekend package at the Swallow Hotel, Bexleyheath (a budget version is available in rooms above the Antigallican). There will be dancing to Dave Lockwood's disco and negotiations are in progress for live music provided by local band Headstrong. Well-known Welling councillors may drop in to provide the occasion with a touch of civic dignity.
This is only the start of exciting plans to bring in new fans from far and wide. The recent installation of methane breathing appartus along the East and West Stand touchlines to help linos to understand the offside rule opens up new possibilities of accommodating fans from Mars. However outer space marketing manager Avrill Hill admitted that there were some problems: 'Fans will have to start out before we know the fixture list for the relevant season, so although they may hope to see a top side they may have to settle for Birmingham City.'
Slade Green dismissed suggestions that the club might provide a shuttle service for fans who use the Jubilee Line at North Greenwich on match days and have difficulties with the inadequate bus service, particularly at evening games when the buses are full of yuppies making the short trip to the Millennium Village. 'We have looked into this and have found that no more than several hundred fans use this route. Moreover, The Valley is no more than a forty minute walk from the station through an innovative urban landscape.'
Happy New Year to all readers of this blog and here's hoping for continued success on and off the pitch. I'm off to a party hosted by the local St.Mirren tonight, but I will be at The Valley tomorrow. As far as the Palace fans who have been having a go at me on one of their notice boards are concerned, we'll see who the clowns are at the end of the season.
posted by Wyn Grant at 6:58 AM
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