Addicks to play in Kettrin'

Charlton fans were shocked by the news in tonight's E mail bulletin that Wednesday's away reserve match against Leicester City has been moved from the Crisp Bowl to the Rocking Horse Road stadium of Kettrin' Town. Because of an A14 closure on Saturday we had to detour through Kettrin' and saw at first hand the stable population that has bred in this 'stand alone' town for centuries.

It is not widely known that President George Bush included Kettrin' in the Axis of Evil after UN inspectors had reported that they had found chemical and biological substances being passed off as tea and soup stockpiled in the Rocking Horse snack bar. It was reported that the pies were frozen solid in the centre, yet full of boiling hot toxic tasting gravy on the outside.

Kettrin' has also been involved in its own effort to enter the space race with its Uranus 1 spacecraft. The objective of the mission was to ascertain whether intelligent life forms can be found in another galaxy given the lack of them in Kettrin'. The craft was manned by the most intelligent creature that could be found in Kettrin' - a stray dog that had been found outside the ground of Raunds Town.